Jason and Jen's TWELVE TERRIBLE MOVIES of CHRISTMAS (2021/22)

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, and good riddance to 2021! For the fourth yearly entry of Jason and Jen's TWELVE TERRIBLE MOVIES of CHRISTMAS we ventured, once again, to abandon all semblance of good taste and reverence for the season with another haphazardly chosen list of twelve cinematic train wrecks that left us in the following states: euphoria, bewilderment, arousal, outrage, full self-actualization, boredom, dysphoria, ego-displacement, partial self-actualization, back to bewilderment, and finally, whatever that feeling is when you are filled with despair and elation simultaneously. Travel and other adult concerns hindered our usual goal to view all films within the twelve days of Christmas, but we got there before the end of January, by hell! We differed on our top film, but were in total agreement that nothing could be quite as frustrating and unpleasant as the 1986 TV movie Babes in Toyland, which could not even be saved by the combined acting talents of a young Drew Barrymore, Keanu Reeves, Richard Mulligan, Pat Morita, and Eileen Brennan. In fact, it may qualify as the "Worst Ever Twelve Terrible Movies of Christmas" movie...and that's saying something. 

Babes in Toyland... are watching

Jen's Ranking

12. Babes in Toyland (Clive Donner, 1986)

11. The Boy Next Door (Rob Cohen, 2015)

10. Quigley (William Byron Hillman, 2003)

 9. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (Ron Underwood, 2002)

 8. Barb Wire (David Hogan, 1986)

 7. A Castle for Christmas (Mary Lambert, 2021)

 6. Doctor Detroit (Michael Pressman, 1983)

 5. I Married a Monster from Outer Space (Gene Fowler Jr., 1958)

 4. Blood Rage (John Grissmer, 1983 - released 1987)

 3. The Thing with Two Heads (Lee Frost, 1972)

 2. The Giant Spider Invasion (Bill Rebane, 1975)

 1. Orgy of the Dead (Stephen C. Apostolof, 1965 - from a screenplay by Edward D. Wood Jr., adapted from his novel of the same name)

The Thing with Two Heads

As usual, Jen and I are of two minds about our yearly marathon!

Jason's Ranking

12. Babes in (muthahfuckin') Toyland

11. Barb Wire

10. A Castle for Christmas

 9. Quigley

 8. Doctor Detroit

 7. The Adventures of Pluto Nash

 6. The Boy Next Door

 5. The Giant Spider Invasion

 4. I Married a Space Monster

 3. The Thing with Two Heads

 2. Orgy of the Dead

 1. Blood Rage

So, when all the stockings are tucked away and the dvd's put back on the shelf...what have we learned this year? Well, while Jen and I have highly divisive feelings about the entertainment value of The Boy Next Door, the endless graveyard strip-tease that is Orgy of the Dead brought us back together. 

Until next year, terrible movie fans!

The WINNER!

ORGY OF THE DEAD!