Terrible Movie Marathon #13

After the Fall

(Bradford May, 2010)

From the director of such TV movies as Fatal Friendship, Lady Against the Odds, Legacy of Lies, Mortal Sins, and Amy Fisher: My Story comes a Hallmark Channel movie featuring Andrea Bowen as a fallen equestrian and "My Two Dads" star Greg Evigan as her only Dad. If you've seen any Hallmark movie, you understand a synopsis is not necessary. Girl falls off horse, wakes up in a hospital paralyzed from the waist down, struggles through impossible physical therapy odds, meets a hunky horse wrangler along the way, and the whole thing ends with them sharing their first kiss. No character drama is less earned than a Hallmark movie. Everything happens in a hermetically sealed universe of contrived relationship challenges and conservative values. Hallmark movies are true to their name: they are to cinema what sympathy cards are to actual sentiment. 

So, here's how we got to After the Fall:

There is an amazing "terrible" movie called After Last Season  - perfect for the 19 Terrible Movies Marathon. Friend of Ecstatic (F.O.E.) Nathaniel Carlson first exposed me to After Last Season around 10 years ago, but my dubbed copy has since faded. Ordering a replacement from an untested online source resulted in the delivery of a DVD dub of After the Fall - not After Last Season. What were we to do? Exchange it? Hell, no. We WATCHED that shit. Did you really think a goddamn Hallmark movie would stop our momentum?! Think again, careless bootlegger!

Furthermore, here are my top three alternate plot lines for After the Fall: 
Girl falls off horse, wakes up in a hospital paralyzed from the waist down, then realizes...
1) Somehow, magically, she and the horse have switched bodies!
2) Somehow, surgically, they have attached the horse's legs to her body, and she lives to jump fences professionally as the unstoppable Horsegirl!
3) Somehow, sadly, Paul Reiser is now also her Dad...and she has horse legs!

Jen's Award for Best Dialogue

(Jenna to Dad, after her boyfriend breaks up with her)

"No, you don't understand, Dad! He doesn't want me! Because I'm BROKEN!"

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RIP - RRP