Terrible Movie Marathon #12

DOUBLE DOWN

(Neil Breen, 2005)

From Neil Breen, the director/writer/editor of all movies starring Neil Breen, with catering by Neil Breen, comes Neil Breen's first full length feature: Double Down. If you have not seen a Neil Breen movie, yet consider yourself a lover of auteur cinema ala Tommy Wiseau, James Nguyen, or Claudio Fragasso, then you should drop whatever meditation/bread-making/panic attack/White House corona virus update is currently occupying your attention and fill that Neil Breen-sized hole with some Neil Breen. Neil Breen--the living triple threat--can be looked at longingly at neilbreen.com, and you can order Double Down and his other feature length motion pictures by visiting Neil Breen's Twitter account @neilbreen. Just order them all at once. The world is ending soon and their isn't much time. Once you've watched them all a sort of overwhelming clarity will come over you, and you can begin the process again. I would try to summarize the aesthetic and overall effect of a Neil Breen film, but they tend to circumvent mere criticism. Neil Breen makes experiential films, like the great masters of the avant garde--Stan Brakhage, Maya Derren, or even Tarkovsky comes to mind. But Neil Breen movies are better. I especially like the scenes where Neil Breen runs up hills. In the final analysis, Neil Breen movies defy all attempts at description that are not, simply: Neil Breen.

Jen's Award for Best Dialogue

(Neil Breen as Aaron Brand in VO)

"Everything I need is always with me. Satellite dishes, five laptops, six cellphones, and bio-terror."

Up next: We take a tumble with a surprise Hallmark entry...and get no sympathy.