Terrible Movie Marathon #3

Samurai Cop

(Amir Shervan, 1991)

One way to explain the astoundingly inept Samurai Cop is to chalk it up to first-time film making. But, according to IMBD, this is Shervan's final film. After twenty-eight films. Wow. Featuring Matt Hannon as the titular Eastern-trained officer out to stop cocaine, and Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop 1, 2, & 3; Beast Master: Through the Portal of Time) as his nemesis. The final battle between these two actors with enormous craniums is unlike anything in cinema. The same can be said for Matt Hannon's wig. Supposedly, months after the film wrapped, the director called Hannon in to re-shoot "a few scenes," but the film was mostly incomplete and shot out of sequence. The result is this: Samurai Cop makes for the best drinking game movie since Showgirls, based on the alternating wig shots alone. In one fight the wig nearly comes completely off, but I guess the result of the re-shoots were already ridiculous enough the editors stopped caring. Every scene is framed like garbage and edited horribly, frequently with actors not on set at the same time.  The "soft core" portions of Samurai Cop seem to feature actors together on set, but even that is difficult to discern as they sleepily writhe in a sub-Wiseau flesh ballet. It all makes you wonder how this group of people got together and DIDN'T try to make porn...but, instead, made Samurai Cop?

Jen's Award for Best Dialogue:

(Grizzled Police Captain, after Samurai Cop leaves his office)

"I feel like someone's stuck a big club up my ass. And it hurts. And I gotta figure out a way to get it outta there."

Tomorrow things get much weirder...